Have You Ever Wondered What Your Man Goes Through When He Gets Off?

a man having an orgasm

Get this. We recently read that one in four guys has faked an orgasm. Yep. Their cover is blown. We are not the only ones (sometimes) faking ecstasy in the bedroom.

Why do men do it? The reasons run the gamut. Some don’t want to hurt their partner’s feelings. Some feel insecure about having a hard time "getting there." Some do it to manipulate their partner (if he can make her feel like she’s pleasing him, he can convince her to do things that he wants outside of sex). And others do it because the sex isn’t all that great, so they want to get the experience over with as soon as possible.

How can you know if he's faking it? It’s not an exact science, but some of the signs include overacting (tons of screaming and yelling that sounds…ridiculous), trying to toss the condom away too quickly (so that you can’t see when it's empty), non-fluctuating breathing patterns, or doing the absolute most with the "baby, that was soooooo good" afterglow compliments.

Now that you’re hip to the game, you can see why it's important to know what men go through when they have an orgasm You know, so you can tell if it really went down or not.

According to author and urologist Aaron Spitz, MD., sight is extremely important to a man’s arousal, since the nerves in his brain need to be “triggered” in order to increase blood flow to his penis. Musty erotic smells (which is why a lot of men like our va-jay-jay smelling au natural), lots of sexual touching, wet lips, and salty skin all play a role in getting things going too, says Dr. Spitz.

As far as the orgasm itself, he also shared that hormones are released into the blood from the hypothalamus and pituitary gland, which then send a message to the testicles to produce sperm and testosterone. "Testosterone circulates back to the brain, where it stokes the fire of sexual desire," writes Dr. Spitz. Then the love hormone (oxytocin) is released from the deep-brain center, which is the final key that commands ejaculation.

"The semen cocktail," according to Dr. Spitz, collects in the urethra just before climax, and when a guy reaches orgasm, the muscles at the base of the penis squeeze it out. "These contractions are what most men associate with a primary source of pleasure during orgasm," he says.

Hmph. Who would've thought that an orgasm for a man is almost as complex as what us women need to get there. ALMOST, but not quite.

Anyway, if you wanted to know if your man is having a bonafide orgasm, hopefully this shed a little light. Keep it all in mind next time things go (up and) down in the bedroom with the two of you.



Just a woman who digs all things relationships. HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS, that is. I've been writing (professionally) for close to 20 years, including having two books published. I'm also a marriage life coach and doula. Sometimes I speak to large audiences or do radio interviews, but usually I'm sitting in my favorite chair, surfin' the 'net and penning stuff that I wish I had read in my early 20s.

Listen, I don't have all the answers, not by a LOOOOONG shot. But whatever I can do to spare folks any heartbreak, bitterness or straight-up drama, I'll devote some keystrokes to doing. 

That's it...in a nutshell. For the most part. Kinda. ;)


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