Here's Everything You NEED To Know About The 'Big O'

woman saying oh god

Orgasm. It’s one of those words that all of us have a general idea what the definition is (the peak of a sexual climax), but when’s the last time you really stopped to think about what’s actually happening when you have one?

As a woman, whenever you experience an orgasm, it’s the result of (usually) foreplay that has caused you to become so stimulated that blood rushes to your vaginal area, including your clitoris (which literally has thousands of nerve endings in it). The more turned on you become, the more blood circulation increases and the more your natural lubricants increase. 

If you’re not (physically or mentally) interrupted and the stimulation continues, there is a build-up of tension in your nerves and muscles as it relates to your genitals, pelvis, buttocks, and even your thighs. They all release at once, and that? That is an orgasm. (Anyone need a drink now?)

Now that the specifics of an orgasm have been broken down, we figured we’d provide a few more FYIs on it. Look at this as a quickie fact sheet that can keep you (and yours) in the loop of what you should — and shouldn't —do if you want to have as many “Big Os” as possible. (And really, who doesn’t?!)

woman drinking wine
1 / 10

They “Age” Like Fine Wine

Don’t believe the hype that these young girls are out here having better sex and more orgasms than you are! Various studies reveal that while 61-percent of the women between the ages of 18-24 climaxed the last time they had sex, a whopping 70 percent did for the women in their 40s and 50s! (Condom use doesn’t affect these stats, by the way.)

woman saying "I can't"
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80-Percent Struggle With “The Big V-O”

There’s orgasms and then there’s vaginal orgasms. If you happen to be struggling with having an orgasm strictly from penile penetration, you are certainly not alone. 

Most women struggle. Some things to improve this include being well-lubricated, finding your G-spot, getting into certain positions, putting a pillow underneath you and taking your time.

woman saying "she's too much"
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Multi-Task To Increase Your Chances

If all you’re thinking about is how and when you’re going to have an orgasm, you’re probably going to stress yourself right out of having one. Lots of foreplay, switching up positions, and (get this), being willing to chill out, laugh and have fun are all ways to distract yourself right into your goal: the Big O!

woman talking about belly glistening
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Cook With Olive Oil

Something that will boost both of your libidos is olive oil. It’s loaded with antioxidants that are good for both your heart as well as your immune system. You can use it as a carrier oil to give each other a  massage. It’s also the kind of oil that significantly increases blood circulation in the body, including the genital region (this means more intense orgasms and stronger erections for him). 

And, so long as you’re using non-latex condoms, it’s an awesome lubricant too!

woman sleeping
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You Can Have Them In Your Sleep

If you haven’t been having a “Big O” while you’re awake, you just might be having one while you’re asleep. That’s right! There is such a thing as nocturnal orgasms and according to Alfred Kinsey’s research, 37-percent of women experience them.

woman asking "where?"
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Distance Is Important

Typically, it’s the distance between a woman’s clitoris and her vaginal opening that helps to determine if she’ll orgasm or not. The closer these two things are, the greater her chances are. That’s because when the two are (no pun) Bosom Buddies, the clitoris is able to receive more indirect stimulation that way.

woman saying "I look good"
7 / 10

And So Is Your Self-Esteem Level

If you don’t feel good about yourself, not only are you going to have a harder time achieving an orgasm, but you’re also not going to enjoy sex overall as much as you should. 

You can’t reach peaks of pleasure with your partner without trust and it’s hard to fully let go if you’re shy about your body parts or you’re never wanting to experiment because of how you feel you look. 

Trust us, your man is happy to be with you, pretty much no matter what state you’re in. Stop letting your self-image prevent you from experiencing the “Big O”. Shoot, from letting him help you get there — by any means possible.

Donald Trump saying "I'm really rich"
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His Money Matters

It’s probably not a shocker if your man is handsome and self-confident, you’re more likely to have an orgasm with him. But did you know that his finances play a direct role too? 

Studies reveal that a man who is wealthy is more likely to be able to help his partner to achieve an orgasm. Not because she’s a gold digger, but because his financial stability helps to make her feel safer and more secure.

woman having an orgasm
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Some Women Don’t Need Genital Stimulation

There is no scientific evidence to support that the clitoris exists for no other reason than sexual stimulation and arousal. But did you know that some women don’t actually need genital stimulation in order to experience an orgasm? 

Some women have orgasms while working out. Some even have them during a bath or while eating a favorite meal. That’s because whenever something causes blood to flow to the genital region, that can make your genitals super-sensitive and result in the “Big O” (for some, that might be good to know!).

couple making out
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Foreplay Is MAD Important

If you’re someone who needs a lot of foreplay (and by “a lot,” we mean more than five minutes), you’re not alone. Foreplay is not only another way to increase blood circulation, but it also makes you feel desired and comfortable with your partner. 

If you’ve got one of those guys who doesn’t want to “warm up the engine” before taking it for a spin (so to speak), let him know that the extra 15 minutes or so is an investment — into you (possibly) having an orgasm and him having the ride (pun intended) of his life!



Just a woman who digs all things relationships. HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS, that is. I've been writing (professionally) for close to 20 years, including having two books published. I'm also a marriage life coach and doula. Sometimes I speak to large audiences or do radio interviews, but usually I'm sitting in my favorite chair, surfin' the 'net and penning stuff that I wish I had read in my early 20s.

Listen, I don't have all the answers, not by a LOOOOONG shot. But whatever I can do to spare folks any heartbreak, bitterness or straight-up drama, I'll devote some keystrokes to doing. 

That's a nutshell. For the most part. Kinda. ;)


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