40 Horrific Toy Fails That Will Leave Your Children Scarred For Life

baby evil
PHOTO: COTPOOKIE/IMGUR

It's not that hard: you build something cute, make sure there are no small parts, label it correctly and stick it on a shelf. That's literally all it takes to make a children's toy.

Unfortunately, even that seems too complicated for some of the world's manufacturers. Some of these are funny, some are absolutely terrifying, and there are way, way too many penises for comfort.

Toys-R-Us would never have let these happen *a single nostalgic tear falls*.


dogs ostrich
PHOTO: SMOSH
1 / 40

Those Are Some Funny Looking Dogs

Wrong number of legs. Feathers instead of fur. Neck like a giraffe.

Definitely a dog.

baby hairy
2 / 40

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

But why would you want to shave a little monster ginger baby? Why should you have to?

toy fail
3 / 40

Baby's First... Nevermind

Teaching children that you're never too young to turn tricks.

toy fail
PHOTO: GROUNDZEROWEB
4 / 40

Yee-haw!

The best part is the girl doll, judging from the other side...

toy fail
5 / 40

If Looks Could Kill

A sweet baby that will knife you when you sleep.

toy fail
PHOTO: CHEZBURGER
6 / 40

This Is Not The Pokemon Toy You Are Looking For

Designer: "OK team, we need to produce a beaver doll and a Pokemon toy, but we only have the budget for one."

Drunk guy in the back: *burp* "I have an idea."

toy fail
7 / 40

I Don't Remember This From The Movie

Just smash Batman's white weenie and he'll spit! Brilliant!

toy fail
8 / 40

Yoda You Are Not

We could spend an hour breaking this one down and it wouldn't be enough.

toy fail
9 / 40

What Would Eeyore Say?!

It's an important skill for children to learn, how to stack rings on a lovable bear's ginormous junk.

Stripper Toy
PHOTO: GIZMODO
10 / 40

A Questionable Role Model

Does it come with tiny one dollar bills for play tips?

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TOM BOMBADIL

I had a rough childhood. I watched my parents murdered right before my eyes. Shot point-blank by some two-bit thug.

So I ran away from Gotham and wandered the earth, until eventually Liam Neeson found me in an obscure Asian jail. He gave me a home, taught me to fight, and showed me the true meaning of justice meant wearing black rubber latex and speaking really deeply. 

Then I killed him with a flying commuter train.

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