Do You Struggle With Knowing What Your Purpose In Life Is? Here's Why You Should Stop Worrying

woman at the beach

Almost all of us had that friend in high school (shoot, maybe even elementary school) who knew exactly what they wanted to do with their life. How do we know? Because they said something like, “I want to be a lawyer,” and shocker of all shockers, they are currently practicing law.

Then there are those of us who have declared different vocation at least once a year, changed our major (and minor) in college more than a few times and although we have a steady gig, somehow, we still don’t feel very fulfilled. If someone were to ask us right now what our purpose is, we’d find a way to change the subject.

If this is you, there is no time like the present to find the answer to the “What is your purpose in life?” question. 

Don’t worry, the steps that we’re about to provide you are relatively painless and won’t require a lot of time. All you need is a piece of paper, a pen (well, a pencil because you might want to edit your initial answers) and some peace and quiet so that you can give this all some serious thought.

In the meantime, know this. You are here for a reason and that is to manifest your purpose.

Accepting that is the first step to figuring out just what your purpose is.

a thinking woman
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Revisit What “Purpose” Means

It never hurts to pull out a dictionary (or go to sites like to look up the definitions of words because no matter how familiar you may be with them, there are always some surprises — or "ah-ha!" moments. 

Take the word “purpose” for example. It literally means "the reason for which something exists or is done, made, used, etc." and "an intended or desired result; end; aim; goal." 

No matter how lost you may feel right now, you exist for a specific reason; there are certain things that no one else can do quite in the way that you do them. 

Build your goals around that and suddenly, things start getting much clearer!

a woman counting
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Pick Five Words To Define Your Ideal Life

Take out a moment to think of what your core values are. Maybe one of them is education. Maybe it’s generosity. Maybe it’s travel, culture or social justice. Maybe it’s love or healthy relationships. 

Picking out five words (or phrases) will help you to see the things that are most important to you; it will help you to cultivate a life motto which can connect you to the next point.

woman saying something is easy
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Think About The Things That Come Natural To You

People who are in the process of living out their purpose will tell you that while not every day is easy, because they are doing what they know they were put on this planet to do, there are moments in each day that bring joy, excitement and passion. They will probably also tell you that they can work hours on end without even noticing because they are using gifts and talents that come naturally to them. 

Maybe it’s writing. Maybe it’s singing. Maybe it’s mentoring. What are the things that come very easily to you? What are the skills that don’t require a ton of effort on your part? 

Whatever those innate things are, you can best believe that they are tied into your purpose, one way or another.

Dave Chappelle saying "free!"
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What Do You Do For Free (Just For The Love Of It)?

You’ve probably heard this one before and there is a lot of truth to it. The things that you would do, even if no one paid you to do it? Those are called your “passions” and they are usually the fuel behind your purpose. 

When people aren’t trying to figure out what their purpose is, they may call these things “stress relievers” or even “hobbies.”

If you look deeper, though, there tends to be some purpose lurking around in those very activities.

a woman trying to get out of bed
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What Excites You About Getting Out Of Bed?

People who HATE getting out of bed? It’s usually due to one of two things. Either they didn’t get enough rest the night before or (more likely) they hate what they do for a living. 

Unfortunately, that’s no surprise because 80 percent of Americans hate their job. That’s probably because most of them are not using their time and abilities towards manifesting their purpose. 

Take a moment to think about what would make you happy to get out of bed. What would make you smile, even if you are functioning on four hours of sleep. That thing right there? It has something to do with your purpose, too.

counting money
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What Would You Do If Money Was No Object?

A lot of people are not functioning in their purpose because they need to make a living. But what if money were absolutely no object at all? Then what if you had all of the resources and connections in the world to do whatever you wanted? 

Whatever the first thing is that comes to mind with these things in place — we wouldn’t be surprised at all if it also was tied into your purpose!

man talking about changing the world
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How Can These Answers Help To Change The World?

Once you have all of these answers in place, here’s the most important point. People who live on purpose are NOT just living for themselves. They’re not out here only trying to make money or get famous. They are literally — and constantly — thinking of things that they can do to better the lives of others so that they can make the world a better place. 

If you could think of three things that you wish were different about the world right now AND you wouldn’t mind contributing some solutions to those very challenges? Congratulations! You are ten steps closer to discovering your purpose than you were before reading this article! 

(How’s it feel?)



Just a woman who digs all things relationships. HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS, that is. I've been writing (professionally) for close to 20 years, including having two books published. I'm also a marriage life coach and doula. Sometimes I speak to large audiences or do radio interviews, but usually I'm sitting in my favorite chair, surfin' the 'net and penning stuff that I wish I had read in my early 20s.

Listen, I don't have all the answers, not by a LOOOOONG shot. But whatever I can do to spare folks any heartbreak, bitterness or straight-up drama, I'll devote some keystrokes to doing. 

That's a nutshell. For the most part. Kinda. ;)


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