These 10 Surprising Things Could Be Affecting Your Man's Performance In The Bedroom

man and woman sitting on the edge of the bed looking unhappy

There are some things in life that we’re just happy that they happen, especially when we don’t put a ton of thought into them—unless they don’t. Like an erection. But just so this article makes a bit more sense, we want to share a quickie (no pun) rundown of what causes a man’s penis to get hard in the first place.

Inside the penis, there are two chambers called the corpora cavernosa. It’s filled with blood, tissue and all sorts of open pockets. There is one main artery in each of these chambers that has thousands of nerves that send signals to the brain and other parts of the body.

When a man is stimulated (it can be by sight, touch, scent, etc.), the brain sends chemical messages, the arteries start to relax and blood flows in. As a result, the penis expands and then comes the erection. When no more blood is coming through, that’s when the penis becomes soft again.

If you got nothing else from all of that, erections start in the brain. Keeping that in mind, while there are some physical reasons for why a man may not be able to stay hard, there are some mental and emotional ones that are just as legitimate.

man brushing his teeth
1 / 10

Gum Disease

Did you know that there is a direct link between gum disease and erectile dysfunction? In fact, close to 80 percent of men who have erectile dysfunction also had some level of gum disease. 

The inflammation from the gum disease can sometimes damage a man’s endothelial cells; they are what line the blood vessels in his body, including his penis. When those cells are not healthy and happy, it’s hard for him to get or maintain an erection. 

man talking about yelling
2 / 10

Too Much Arguing

Remember, erections begin in the brain. If your man is stressed out because the two of you are constantly at odds, that can definitely prevent him from getting or staying hard. 

Just something to think about next time you’re contemplating going into World War III at the house.

man on laptop
3 / 10

Bad Laptop Placement

If he’s constantly working with his laptop, in his lap, encourage him to put a pillow underneath it. Laptops heat up and when that happens, not only do they have the potential to damage his sperm but hinder his erections too.

red pill or blue pill
4 / 10

Needing A Supplement

A good diet is everything. In order for your man to maintain healthy erections, one thing he’s going to need is plenty of healthy fats like avocadoes, dark chocolate, coconut (everything), nut butter, and whole eggs. 

He may also need to take a supplement like L-Arginine. Some men aren’t able to stay hard because the production of nitric oxide is low in their system. That results in their muscle tissues, including in their penis, not getting the kind of blood flow that it needs. L-Arginine can assist with all of that.

baby on bed
5 / 10

A Baby In The Bedroom

Initially it might seem that a man can’t keep it hard if a baby’s in the room because it might lead to sleep-deprivation. That’s a valid point. But there’s actually a study which supports that just like you have “mommy ears,” a man who is trying to sleep with a child in the room is less stimulated sexually. Not all men, but many.

couple making sexual gestures
6 / 10

Being In The “Wrong” Position(s) Or Masturbating Too Much

A sexual position can mess up a perfectly good erection?! Indeed it can. When he’s on top or even standing up, that increases the blood flow to his penis. More blood, stronger erections. 

You might also want to give him a (no pun) heads up that masturbating too often can be too much of a good thing. Basically doing it more than a couple (literally two) times a day can decrease his sensitivity along with the staying power of his erections. 

Speaking of sensitivity…

man stretching a condom
7 / 10

Not Wearing A Condom

If he can get it up, but he doesn’t seem to last as long as either of you would like, get him to put on a condom. That seems to be the cure, in most cases, for hyper-sensitivity in the sex department.

woman pouring sugar in cup
8 / 10

Too Much Sugar

Having too much sugar will spike his glucose levels and throw off his insulin — which means all sorts of drama for his erections. Just what kind of foods are good for his erection? 

Citrus fruit will lower his blood pressure. Blueberries will keep his muscle tissue nice and healthy. Pomegranates will reduce arterial plaque by as much as 30 percent. All are sweet yet so much healthier—and beneficial.

soy milk cartoon
9 / 10


Soy contains estrogen. Eating too much of it (having it several times a day, every day) can result in your man’s testosterone levels being thrown off. When that happens, things tend to go…limp.

man hitting alarm clock
10 / 10


All of us need no less than 6-8 hours a night. When we’re sleep-deprived, it tends to make us irritable, we lack concentration, we’re exhausted, and not as creative or productive—all of these things play a direct role in lasting erections and great sex. 

At least 4-5 hours a week, make sure your man is getting the right amount of sleep. His semi-sanity, and your sex life, are depending on it!



Just a woman who digs all things relationships. HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS, that is. I've been writing (professionally) for close to 20 years, including having two books published. I'm also a marriage life coach and doula. Sometimes I speak to large audiences or do radio interviews, but usually I'm sitting in my favorite chair, surfin' the 'net and penning stuff that I wish I had read in my early 20s.

Listen, I don't have all the answers, not by a LOOOOONG shot. But whatever I can do to spare folks any heartbreak, bitterness or straight-up drama, I'll devote some keystrokes to doing. 

That's a nutshell. For the most part. Kinda. ;)


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